What Are Social Cues? (2024)

Social cues are how we communicate without using words. These cues involve facial expressions, how we move our bodies, tone of voice, physical proximity to others, and any other way we express ourselves outside of verbal communication.

While social cues tend to be similar among most people, they can be affected by many things, including a person's personality, culture, and comfort levels.

Some conditions, such as social anxiety disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and autism spectrum disorder (ASD), can change the way a person communicates and interprets social cues.

In this article, we will look at everyday social cues, how they are typically interpreted, and ways you can improve your understanding of them.

What Are Social Cues?

Social cues are ways we communicate without words or in addition to verbal communication. They can express our feelings by using our faces, bodies, and behavior without talking or while we are talking.

It's estimated that 60%–65% of the way we communicate with others is through nonverbal behaviors.

Social cues are part of the overall way humans communicate. Social cues and words work together and depend on context.

A singular expression of a social cue shouldn't be relied upon, but looking at the whole person while communicating can give many clues to their emotions, intent, reactions, and other valuable information.

Are Social Cues Universal?

Overall, the way people perform most social cues is similar. Some of them are even believed to be evolutionary-based and hardwired, meaning that many of us perform the same social cues automatically.

However, social cues are not universal. Some people express and interpret social cues differently.

Physical (Body Language)

Posture

Posture is how a person holds their body. It can express how someone feels or what message they are trying to convey.

For example, if a person has a closed posture, with arms or legs (or both) crossed, they likely feel uncomfortable, disinterested, frustrated, or have other unpleasant emotions or reactions.

If someone has an open posture (arms and legs uncrossed and relaxed), they may indicate a higher level of comfort or interest.

Remember that physical comfort is also a factor in posture. Someone may have their arms crossed or sit in an open stance because it feels better.

Angling The Body

Angling the body, especially the legs, towards a person can show you are engaged in what they say or do.

Similarly, leaning in towards the person can also show interest.

Gesturing

Some people gesticulate ("talk with their hands") more than others, but the gestures people use usually have meaning behind them.

Gestures are a type of nonverbal expression. A wave of the hand from side to side, for instance, can mean hello or goodbye. An upright hand with palm out usually means stop. An index finger extended towards something means to look or go there.

Is Sign Language Gesturing?

Sign language is a group of languages with grammatical rules just as spoken language has. There are dialect (a language native to a specific region or social group) differences within each sign language. Gesturing itself is not sign language.

People who communicate with sign language also use gestures in a similar way as people using spoken language as an emphasis or communication outside of grammatically coded signs.

Mirroring

You may have heard that yawns are contagious, or find yourself unable to resist smiling when you see someone else smiling.

These are examples of mirroring. It is common for people to mimic or copy head movements, body movements, and facial expressions from one another when they are communicating.

Mirroring can be a sign of attentiveness or engagement.

Touching

Touching can convey a wide variety of meanings, from intimacy to establishing dominance.

Touch can have multiple meanings and depends on the context or situation in which it is used. A hand resting softly on the shoulder of another person sitting close by can be a gesture of caring, while a quick tap of a shoulder usually gets someone's attention.

Paying attention to how others respond to touch is also essential. Not everyone likes to be touched, in general, by certain people or in specific ways. Touching someone else, regardless of intentions, requires consent.

Haphephobia: The Fear of Being Touched

Fidgeting

Fidgeting could be playing with hair, tapping a pen, or shifting around in a chair, which can give an impression of being disinterested, disengaged, or bored.

This cue needs to be taken in context.

Someone who doesn't typically fidget but behaves this way may indicate inattentiveness, but for some people, including people with ADHD, fidgeting is a tool used to improve focus.

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions convey a variety of emotions, such as:

Amusem*nt
Surprise
Fear
Confusion
Disgust
Anger
Happiness
Sadness

Subtle changes in facial expressions also can reveal a person's emotions. The eyes and mouth are typically what a person scans most when someone is speaking to them.

The Eyes

The eyes can be a good indicator of how someone is feeling:

Eyes open wide and eyebrows raised might mean surprise or fear.
Tensed eyelids and lowered brows drawn towards each other could mean anger or confusion.
Smiling may cause wrinkles to appear around the eyes.

Dilated pupils are considered a sign of arousal, though lighting can influence this.

Looking into another person's eyes can show attentiveness and interest while looking away or down can indicate discomfort or disinterest.

Prolonged eye contact or staring can feel intimidating or threatening.

Keep in mind that making eye contact can be difficult for some people, even if they are interested and engaged.

The Mouth

The mouth communicates in many more ways than words:

An open mouth without tension can indicate surprise.
Tight, tense, or pursed lips may show a person is angry, afraid, or skeptical.
A raised upper lip and wrinkled nose can show disgust.
Corners drawn upwards into a smile can mean happiness. It can also mean deviousness, sarcasm, and many other expressions, depending on the context and the rest of the facial expression.
Corners drawn down or lips trembling can show sadness.

A person may also bite their lip, lick their lips frequently, or grind or clench their teeth if they are nervous or stressed.

Vocal

The way we say things can determine the meaning of the words we use.

Inflection or intonation (changing the tone or pitch of our voice) can be more expressive and clarify what we are saying. It can also affect persuasion and how people are perceived.

Speaking with little variety in your inflection may make it clear that you are bored and may lose the interest of the person listening.

Varying your pitch (the highness and lowness of your voice) can make listening more enjoyable.

Emphasis in the Voice

Where the emphasis is placed on words also matters.

“You went to the store?” implies surprise that that individual was the person who went there.

“You went to the store?” suggests that the location is the source of surprise, not the person.

Volume also makes a difference. Mumbling may suggest nervousness. Yelling may suggest enthusiasm or anger.

Nonverbal

Proxemics

Proxemics refers to how close a person is standing to another. It often indicates a level of comfort or intimacy between them.

Anthropologist Edward Hall, who coined the term, described four proxemic zones:

Intimate (18 inches or less): Parents and children, lovers, spouses, and partners
Personal (1.5–4 feet): Close friends
Social (4–12 feet): Friends and co-workers
Public (12 feet or more): Strangers and officials

These zones are based on American culture. Proxemic norms vary significantly among cultures.

Clothing

Clothing can tell a lot about a person. A person wearing a military uniform likely is a soldier. A person in a white lab coat likely is in the medical or science field.

Some clothing is less obvious, but still gives us clues to the person wearing them and in what context.

"Formal" versus "casual" clothes are deemed appropriate in different settings.

Someone going on a job interview is likely to dress in a way that projects professionalism, while it's unlikely someone will wear a power suit for a baseball game with friends.

Difficulty Reading Social Cues

Not everyone is adept at reading typical social cues. Some health conditions affect how a person performs and interprets familiar social cues.

This does not mean the people affected by these conditions do not communicate, but rather, their ways of communicating differ from the majority, making it tricky to understand each other.

People on the Autism Spectrum

Some people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD):

Do not make eye contact or make minimal eye contact
Have facial expressions, movements, and gestures that do not match what is being said
Have a tone of voice that differs from typical ways of speaking
Have difficulty interpreting the social cues of others

For example, research on eye gazing has shown that when people with autism are looking at images and movies, they are less likely than peers not on the autism spectrum to look where the characters are looking and more likely to look at what the characters are doing.

People With Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder is characterized by an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.

Social anxiety can affect how a person expresses and interprets social cues. People with social anxiety are more likely to find eye contact uncomfortable and avoid it than those without social anxiety.

A study found that though people with social anxiety recognize that smiling faces mean happiness, they judge happy faces as less approachable than those without social anxiety.

How Common Is Social Anxiety?

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 7% of Americans are affected by social anxiety.

People With ADHD

Many with ADHD have difficulty interpreting subtle nuances in communication, such as subtext (“reading between the lines”).

People with ADHD usually know what is expected of them socially, but they have difficulty doing it as ADHD characteristics such as inattentiveness and impulsivity interfere.

These behaviors can be misunderstood by others, too. For instance, interrupting may be interpreted as rude, or fidgeting may be misconstrued as dull or anxious.

What Is Nonverbal Learning Disorder?

Nonverbal learning disorder (NVLD) is also known as nonverbal learning disability. Although NVLD is not an official diagnosis in the DSM-5, the disability is associated with impairment in three broad areas: motor skills, visual-spatial organizational memory, and social abilities. Difficulties may include:

Understanding facial expressions or body language
Coordination
Social abilities. using social language
Executive functioning, planning, organizing, emotional regulation
Performing new tasks

These relate to recognizing patterns or concepts and then applying them to new situations. Because social cues are a pattern, these kids can have difficulty interpreting them.

Non-verbal learning disorder shares some characteristics with ADHD and ASD, but it is not the same as either condition.

Social Skills Test

Online quizzes are available that claim to test your social skills but note that the validity and quality of these tests vary widely.

One option is a test by Psychology Today. This test gives a complimentary summary of results but requires payment for the full results.

These tests are not a substitution for a professional exam. If you have concerns about your social skills, it's best to contact a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist or psychologist.

What Is a Child Psychiatrist?

How to Build Your Social Skills

How people communicate varies. Social skills and cues tend to be evaluated based on typical or common social behavior. However, not everyone uses or interprets social cues in the same way.

If you would like to build typical social skills, here are some steps you can take:

Practice: Work on one skill at a time.
Get feedback: Ask a trusted friend or family member for feedback. It is often hard to know how we appear to others.
Observe yourself: Record yourself having a conversation or practice with a mirror to see how you are communicating and if there is anything you would like to work on changing.
Practice your skills with others: It may help to start with small interactions with strangers, such as checking out at the grocery store.

Summary

Social cues are a form of communication that is done without words or in addition to verbal communication.

Social cues can be performed with the hands, body, face, or even nonverbal vocal cues. While many social cues are consistent in society, how we express them or interpret them can vary depending on the person.

If you are concerned about your ability to interpret social cues, working with a mental health professional can help.