Why His Eyes Dilate When He Looks at You: Psychology & More (2024)

Co-authored byAlysha Jeney, MA, LMFTand Ali Garbacz, B.A.

Last Updated: February 20, 2024Fact Checked

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1. Dilating pupils could mean a guy likes you and finds you attractive. There have been many studies done to observe the role arousal has on pupil dilation, and researchers have found that a person’s eyes dilate when they’re presented with images that they find arousing.^[1] One cause of pupil dilation is an increase of oxytocin, the hormone released during sexual arousal. So, if you notice a guy’s pupils getting bigger when you talk and hang out, it might be because he finds you attractive.^[2]

   • Studies have also shown that pupil dilation is controlled by a person’s sexual orientation. For example, the pupils of gay men dilated when they were presented with pictures of other men they found attractive.
   • When women are ovulating, their pupils often more readily dilate when they’re talking with people they find attractive.^[3]
   • While it might be totally unintentional on his part, seeing a man’s dilated pupils can make him appear more approachable and trustworthy.^[4]
   • When you trust someone, your pupils may also dilate and mimic the other person.^[5]
   • Reader Poll: We asked 942 wikiHow readers, and 72% agreed that dilated pupils is the hardest body language signal to pick up on when you’re trying to read someone. [Take Poll]
   • So if you're able to notice his pupils dilating when he looks at you, you're picking up on a super subtle body language cue that means he might be into you!

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   Mutual eye contact Even if his pupils aren’t noticeably dilated, a guy might be subtly hinting that he’s attracted to you by making prolonged eye contact. When a guy makes an effort to look you in the eye, it usually means he’s interested in you and what you have to say.^[6]

   • If you notice him making an effort to make eye contact, do your best to maintain eye contact with him as well. It’ll let him know that you’re aware of his attention and are reciprocating it.
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   See Also

   How Eyes Convey the Body Language of Love | LoveToKnowDilated PupilWhy Eyes Dilate When You See Someone You LovePinpoint Pupils: Treatments, Causes and Symptoms

   Smiling When a guy smiles at you, it usually means he enjoys being around you and wants to make sure you feel relaxed. Smiling is a natural reaction people give when they’re around someone they like or are attracted to. So if a man can’t hold back a grin when he’s around you, take that as a very good sign.^[7]

   • Be sure to smile back at him to also make yourself appear friendly and approachable.
   • Making him laugh is also a great way to get closer to him and deepen your connection. Tell him a funny joke or anecdote and be open to acting silly around him.
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   Leaning toward you When a guy is flirting with you, he might lean closer to show that he’s interested in and paying attention to what you’re saying. This might be a subtle attempt to simply get closer to you. You might also notice that he angles his body so that he’s completely facing you.^[8]

   • To let a guy know that you’re interested in him, be sure to actively listen to him when he’s talking. Maintain eye contact, put away any distractions, and angle your body so that you’re facing him to let him know you’re paying attention.
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   Mirroring When a guy likes you, he might subconsciously start mimicking your actions. If you cross your arms, he might cross his arms. Whenever you take a sip of your drink, he may do the same. Mirroring is one way people show empathy and subtly hint at a connection to another person. Be sure to keep an eye out for this kind of behavior if you want to know whether or not he’s attracted to you.^[9]

   • Other ways you might flirt using your body language include biting or licking your lips, touching your hair, or playing with any jewelry you’re wearing.
   • These actions can help draw attention to your body in a more sensual way.
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   Touching A guy who’s interested in you might initiate some light, friendly touches to express his interest in getting closer to you. He might reach out to give you a pat on the back, lightly brush his hand against yours, or place a hand on your arm while you’re talking.^[10]

   • If you’re also into him, don’t be shy about flirting using physical touch. Sit close to him, hold his hand when you’re walking somewhere, or even give him a hug if you think he’ll be comfortable with that.
   • If you’re ever uncomfortable about someone being overly touchy, tell them to stop and put a little bit of physical distance between you and them to discourage the behavior.
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   Speaking in a low pitch Men might speak in a lower pitch when they’re flirting as a way to signal their masculinity and appear more authoritative. In general, men who speak in a lower tone are often perceived as more attractive, so a guy might purposefully lower his voice when flirting with you.^[11]

   • On the other hand, men often find women who speak in a higher pitch to be attractive.
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   Acting nervous It’s totally normal for someone to feel a bit nervous around a person they like. A guy who’s interested in you might act a little jittery when he talks to you. He might stutter when he speaks, blush when you address him, or fidget due to nerves.^[12]

   • Make him less nervous by smiling at him, making eye contact, and asking him questions.

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   Low-light environments When there isn’t a lot of light to let you see your surroundings, your pupils will naturally dilate to take in more light and help you see more clearly. So if you’re talking to a guy in a rather dark room, his pupils might just be adjusting to the lack of light.^[13]

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   Fight-or-flight response When you’re faced with an extremely stressful situation, your body often responds by releasing adrenaline hormones that cause your natural fight-or-flight response. Some effects of this sudden increase in adrenaline include dilated pupils, sweating, increased heart rate, and raised blood pressure.^[14]

   • Lying can also trigger this fight-or-flight response. So it’s possible that a guy’s dilating eyes mean that he’s being dishonest about something.
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   Strong emotions Aside from attraction and arousal, other strong emotions like fear, anger, and excitement can also cause your pupils to dilate. These emotions are also usually accompanied by releases of adrenaline which causes your pupils to dilate.^[15]

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   Concentration and mental strain Studies have shown that people’s eyes often dilate when they’re focussing on solving a difficult problem or trying to memorize something. In general, when you put a lot of strain on your brain, your pupils will often dilate. So it might just be that a guy is concentrating really hard on the conversation you’re having or your surroundings.^[16]

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   Medication Dilated pupils may be a side effect of certain medications. These include things like antidepressants, antihistamines, anti-nausea medications, and anti-seizure medications.^[17]

   See Also

   Truth and lies in your eyes: Pupil dilation of White participants in truthful and deceptive responses to White and Black partners

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   Alcohol and/or drugs Unfortunately, dilated pupils can also be a side effect of consuming too much alcohol or abusing certain drugs. Drugs that may cause pupil dilation include amphetamines, benzodiazepines, cocaine and crack cocaine, and hallucinogens.^[18]

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   Brain or eye injury There are certain conditions and diseases that may also cause a person’s pupils to dilate, often in unnatural ways. Some medical conditions that may cause dilation include Adie’s syndrome, anisocoria, head trauma, eye injury, and migraine.^[19]

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